Keep Him In The Box

Happy New Year Loves!

Can you believe its 2011?? Does that even sound right? 2011. Where did 2010 go? Well, hopefully the passing of one year and the beginning of another marks the start of new adventures, goals, and (yes, you guessed it) …LOVE for all my singles out there! And seeing that it’s the start of a new year it seems only right that my first post in 2011 be about starting a new romance.

Nowadays, it seems that starting a new relationship is even more difficult than it’s ever been. There is so much more BS you have to put up with it seems. You have the men that feel that they are God’s gift to all women. You know the ones that can carry on an hour long conversation…alone…about themselves. Ugh. Or the losers, the bums, the complete waste of space who’s future goals are to get by in life via good looks, mama’s paycheck and the support of any woman desperate enough to mess with him. Of course the same applies to women. I know it can be just as hard….hmmm…let me rephrase. I know it can be frustrating for men as well looking for love;)

So what can all the real and honest people who are looking for love do to avoid wasting their time and affection on those who are not worthy? The answer is, become a systematic decision-maker. Okay, I know some of you are hitting me with blank stares right now. Lol Let me explain. Over the past few months I’ve been reading this book entitled, Discovering Your Future in a Global Society. It’s all about helping you discover your personality type which then allows you to make better life decisions. It mainly focuses on career decisions, but after reading it I realized that many of the concepts could apply to your love life…especially the ones dealing with your personal decision making style. Okay so basically there are two distinct decision making styles: systematic and spontaneous.

A spontaneous person makes a quick, intuitive decision and later tests it against information. A systematic decision-maker gathers a lot of information before making a decision and is often slower to make a commitment. So I’ve seen my fair share of mis-matched couplings that ended in disaster to know that most of us are spontaneous decision-makers when it comes to love. We go with that feeling in our gut (the butterflies) that tell us he/she might be the one well before we’ve done our proper due diligence. Then down the road after we’ve took things to the next level, we discover we’ve made a mistake and the culprit has walked away with our emotions, time, and intimacy.

So how does a being a systematic decision make deter that behavior? The best way I can explain is through example and my roommate is THE definition of a systematic, decision-maker. A few weeks before the infamous Black Friday we found this ad in the paper for a 40”, 720p, LCD, Flat screen for only $248. Awesome deal, right!? So of course we looked up a few reviews on the TV that day. Like the average consumer I was satisfied after that and of course consulting with my better half. My roommate, on the other hand, spent the remainder of the 2 weeks researching this TV like she was studying for the SATs. Come Black Friday she gets to the store to find the line wrapped around the building. After hours of standing in the cold with the other mobsters willing to bare the cold in the wee hours of the morning for their electronic heart’s desire, they finally get in! And what do you know just one more on the shelf. As she makes a mad dash toward the TV, in a matter of seconds someone swoops in from the sideline and picks it up. The story of our lives right, ladies;) Too many “buyers” not enough “merchandise”. But I digress.

Fortunately, she sees another TV on sale. Not as enticing as the other but still a great deal. It’s a 32”, 720p, Sony. She ends up buying the 32” and brings it home. And what does she do next? You’d think after all that waiting, research and madness and finally finding a TV to bring home she would rip open the box and mount her new conquest proudly on the wall, right? Wrong. The TV stays in the box for two weeks straight. During this time the research process begins again. Seems a little extra right? I mean two weeks?? It is a Sony…a trusted household brand. And a 32’ flat screen is nothing to sneeze at, especially in an apartment bedroom. Well, turns out on her second week of research she finds an ad for another TV at the same store, maybe $50 more, but this one is 40” and has 1080p. As you may have guessed, the process is begins yet again. She returns the 32”, purchases the 40”and yes, it stays in the box…for two weeks. But fortunately, after her two weeks of consulting the experts and surfing the web, my roomie finally hung her 40” on her wall Christmas morning and has been completely happy ever since…at least in regards to her TV. Lol

The moral of the story is, when you’re out there looking for love there will be a lot of factors that may make you want to rush into things. Maybe you’ve been without…”TV” for a really long time. Or maybe you feel like everyone else is snatching up all the good “TVs” so you’re willing to settle for one that’s decent…but not what you really want. Don’t be so quick to get a man that you don’t take the time to get to know who he really is before you make that commitment (emotionally, intimately, etc)…keep him “in the box” for a while to find out what he’s really about. I guarantee a little patience pays off;)

Until next time loves!

Xoxo

Elise
AllsFairNLove@gmail.com