Hello Loves!
I hope yall had a lovely Labor Day;) I really couldn't have asked for a better one myself. I spent it with almost everyone who is near and dear to me. But alas, all things must come to an end, right? Tuesday I found myself on the connector, smack-dab in the middle of rush hour!! All my CDs are at home and no one is answering the phone...and to add to my misery, the only thing that's half worth listening to on the radio is the Michael Baisden show. For any of you that know me, you know that at this point I'm contemplating running out into oncoming traffic...if only it were moving faster than 5 miles an hour!
Okay, so you might be wondering why I dislike Michael Basden so much. Well to be honest...I think he's a douche. His view points on love, sex, and relationships are severely skewed and he always seems to have this pompous/pretentious way of talking to or about people who have different views or stronger values about marriage, love, and sex. Many times he talks about cheating on his show, and Tuesday was one of those days.
Surprisingly, he brings up a very interesting topic. He makes a comment that in his opinion, women are more forgiving when it comes to cheating spouses than men are. At first I didn't know how to take that. Is he saying we are weaker and more needy, therefore we easily disregard our mates infidelity? Or is he saying that in fact women are stronger and can move passed a bruised ego if the relationship is worth fighting for? Hell, it may be both! But what that got me thinking about is the difference between a man cheating and a woman cheating. I've had this discussion many time and have seen both scenarios played out in front of me; and from my experience I would have to say there is a difference...generally speaking.
When men cheat it typically has nothing to do with where their heart is, and more so with where his head is...if you catch my drift. There really are only 3 factors that play in a man's likelihood of cheating; 1) The probability of getting caught, 2) The uniqueness or rarity of the "other woman", and 3) impaired judgment brought on by outside substances or environment. For example, if you and all your friends and family live in Idaho and your boyfriend goes on a business trip to Sidney where he meets Beyonce and they both get super drunk and Beyonce starts coming on to him, the likelihood of him cheating is like 90% (even though the likelihood of that scenario ever happening is like .2%).
Now I'm not saying if your guy finds himself in that kind of situation he will cheat. Because there is something that trumps all of that. If your man is at point in his life where cheating does not appeal to him and he is of sound character, all those factors could be at play and he would never cheat. My point is, either way, whether he cheats or doesn't, it generally has little to do with how much he loves you. Thus making it easier for some women to forgive them.
On the other hand, there are fewer instances of women cheating without an emotional attachment. That's why statistically, when a woman cheats its most often an affair rather than a one night stand. You'll also find that while men can cheat with women who they may not find attractive, women most often cheat with men they consider more attractive (physically or in some other way) than their partner. They need some form of connection to whom they are being physical with, and its usually that connection that drives them to cheating in the first place. While there may only be 3 factors that contribute to why men cheat, the reasons for why women cheat are innumerable. Thus making it harder for men to forgive a cheating woman.
Personally, if I found out that my man had cheated on me, even if I knew it had nothing to do with his love for me, and even if I knew it was only one time, it would be a deal breaker. At this point in my life, its not about rather my man loves me, because I know he does; Its about his character and being on the same level a maturity in regards to our relationship. It also has to deal with respect. As you know, in any relationship, there has to be more than just love there in order to have a happy and successful life together. And if there is cheating involved, obviously something very important is missing.
What do yall think? Is there a difference between men and women cheating? Do women forgive easier than men? Hmmmmmm. LOL
Until next time...remember, Alls Fair In Love,
xoxo
Elise Alls
AllsFairNLove@gmail.com
