Liar, Liar

Hello Loves!

I hope your Thanksgiving was filled with good food, long naps, happiness and of course...love;) I know it’s been quite a while since my last entry. No excuses to be made...just haven't been on it like I should be. But in the spirit of "keeping it real" I want to discuss the topic of LYING! Why do people lie in relationships? Specifically speaking, why do men lie?? And let's narrow the field down a bit....why do they lie about their indiscretions with other women?

I know that may sound like a silly question. All the self-proclaimed good men out there probably rationalize that they lie to keep from hurting their mate. They'll say things like, "It was only once and it didn't mean anything." Or " Those text messages were just harmless flirting, I really love the one I'm with." All the dogs will admit that they want to have their cake and eat it too, so why jeopardize that with the truth. But really men, women have been telling you what will work in your favor for centuries. No matter how cliche' it may sound, honesty is always the best policy.

I mean it’s really like the ultimate trump card when you've done wrong in a relationship. Think about it. You cheat and you come to us and say, “Baby this has been weighing heavily on me since it happened, but last night I made a horrible mistake. I disrespected you in the worst way. I cheated and I’m sooo sorry. I understand if you don’t won’t me anymore. I have no excuses. I was weak. Ect” What can we say after that? Yeah, MAYBE we will kick you out, ignore your phone calls for a few days….yes, because the truth will hurt us. But think about this. What will the argument be like after your confession? You’ve answered any questions we may have, admitted to any accusations, and apologized before we even said a word. What’s left for us to say?

And to be honest, we want to forgive you. We want to believe that we have one of the good ones. But when you lie you eliminate any redeemable qualities about yourself. The lie alone will do more damage to our trust than the actual cheating. Wouldn’t you be more willing to forgive someone who made a mistake versus a liar? Liars makes the transgression more devious. What could have been a mistake in a moment of weakness is now an elaborate web of lies to deceive us. Even if we wanted to forgive you, think how hard it would be now.

Now I’m not saying that every man that cheats and confesses is in the clear nor should they be, BUT, a betting man, looking at the odds of a woman forgiving an honest man and the likelihood of that man getting caught in a lie, would put all his chips on being honest every time.

Well that’s my two cents on it anyway. What do you think ladies?

Until next time loves, stay faithful, stay honest, stay true…and remember Alls Fair In Love!

xoxo

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An Excerpt from the Experts

Hello Loves,

Today I wanted to post something straight from the "experts". I put experts in quotation because the author I'm going to feature today has admitted he has no degree in sociology, he's not a doctor, or relationship guru. Everything he says is coming from his experience as man, a husband, boyfriend, and father. I'm talking about Mr. Steve Harvey. It seems odd that a comedian could have really anything of value to offer regarding relationships and love, right? But after thinking about it I realized it's just like when females ask our brothers, fathers, or guy friends to be honest with us and tell us what they think from a "man's point of view". And that's exactly what he does. I actually enjoyed his first book, "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man" and was curious to see what else he had to offer from his second book, "Straight Talk, No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man". I haven't finished it yet, but I've already read some things I wish some females that I know would read and apply to their lives. So with that being said, today I'm going to share an excerpt that talks about the importance of having your ish together when you walk up out the house! lol Enjoy:

"A woman who cares about herself and how she presents herself to the world, and looks like she'd elevate our game, is the woman who will get our attention; she's the one who will make a man down a shot, pat his boys on the back, and then take what feels like a twenty-mile walk through a crowded club to ask you for a dance, or work his way over to the vegetable section in the grocery store to strike up a conversation about the difference between Roma and vine-ripened tomatoes just so that he can talk to you.

Before you get too bent out of shape about what I'm saying here, keep in mind that this philosophy was taught to me by my mother, who dressed whenever she left the house – and she did this even though she was married already. [The man] will know up front he's dealing with a person who cares about herself. The way you dress is an extension of you. If you're seriously open to a relationship, why miss the opportunity of meeting someone because you didn't pull it together before you left the house? I'm telling you, a single woman who is serious about finding a man can't afford days where she totally lets it all go. In the event Mr. Right is somewhere in the vicinity, you have to be prepared to look the part of Mrs. Right. And if you’re not looking the part, a man will not imagine you in the part either.

For the first five or six months of [My wife and I ] being together, she always pulled it together - even when we were together in private. If she took a nap, she would go into the bathroom and freshen up before joining me. This sent a strong signal my way because any woman with a guy in my position is going to be in the spotlight too, and by doing little things to always be on point when it was just the two of us, she demonstrated that she could handle this role were our relationship to deepen. The same holds true for every guy - not just a celebrity whose mate's picture will be in magazines. Every guy earning a paycheck does this because at the end of the day he needs to have a lady on his arm who will make him feel as if he's doing well (or at least better than he really is)."